Winter Olympic Preview, Part 3: Don’t strain your Molson muscle »
By Ned Hickson/Siuslaw News Hello and welcome to the final installment of our groundbreaking (at least in terms of blatant copyright infringement) three-part Winter Olympics sports preview: Fifteen Reasons to Be a Summer Olympian Today, we will be focusing on some of the most dangerous and exciting events at the winter games. Events like Speed [...]
Like speed skating, our Olympic preview continues because we can’t stop »
By Ned Hickson/Siuslaw News Hello and welcome to another exciting installment of our exclusive Winter Olympics preview: Fifteen Reasons to Be a Summer Olympian. It’s a preview so exclusive even the Olympic Committee doesn’t know about it. And, quite frankly, we’d like to keep it that way. That’s because while the larger media outlets routinely [...]
Join us for in-depth Olympic coverage live … from Utah? »
By Ned Hickson/Siuslaw News As many of you know, every two years I try to convince my editor to send me to the Olympics. The closest I’ve come was during the winter Olympics in Utah, when I was offered gas money, thermal underwear, and a set of binoculars for watching the events “from a great [...]
Monday should always start with a comatose computer »
By Ned Hickson/Siuslaw News – Sometime between Sunday afternoon and Monday morning, my computer slipped from its normal “sleep mode” and into a deep coma. This became apparent after hitting the space bar and getting no reaction whatsoever, not counting a low-pitched whirring sound that — if I didn’t know better — I could swear [...]
The people have spoken! The world is full of fruitcakes »
By Ned Hickson/Siuslaw News Every once in a while a column strikes a nerve with readers. These readers then write me to express their displeasure; they are angry, hurt, offended, or breaking in new stationery. Whatever the reason, I appreciate this feedback regardless of the fact that, in many cases, the column they’re talking about [...]
Only real men can iron clothes at 3,000 feet »
By Ned Hickson/Siuslaw News I have reached the conclusion that most of the world’s ironing is now being done by men. I say this because it’s the only explanation I have for a sport called “extreme” ironing, which is actually being lobbied as an Olympic event by “ironing enthusiasts” — a phrase referred to in [...]
Newest cell phone feature is so hot you may need a fire extinguisher—Really. »
By Ned Hickson/Siuslaw News Technology is great. Except, of course, when it explodes in your pants. I’ve never really liked cell phones to begin with, and now that they’ve started self detonating, I like them even less. According to a news article sent in by Susan Grigsby of Alpharetta, Ga., Nokia has launched an investigation [...]
Don’t forget the cat when taking down the Christmas tree »
By Ned Hickson/Siuslaw News Packing up the Christmas decorations is never easy. Not only because it means the official end of the holiday season, but also because it means it’s time to pry the cat out of the Christmas tree. What makes this process especially difficult is sap. You see, it’s not until after spending [...]
Okay, maybe fruitcake doesn’t threaten humanity »
By Ned Hickson/Siuslaw News Journalism can be a dangerous profession, even for those of us who never actually leave our desk unless a “situation” develops, such as the sudden and unprovoked arrival of free donuts. On several occasions, I have found myself in harm’s way as a dozen employees stampeded into the break room (which, [...]
Last-minute gift shopping? Don’t forget the pepper spray »
By Ned Hickson/Siuslaw News (Flashback from 12-10-2005) When it comes to buying a gift for that special someone this holiday season, nothing says I love you like pepper spray. At least, that’s according to the Bureau of Shopping Statistics, which says that personal protection devices are big sellers during the holiday season. This is further [...]
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